Facebook Rots Your Brain

Facebook is the new garbage television.

I suppose I should embrace this brave new world we live in. But I don't think anyone cares about what I'm doing every minute of the day. This is my justification for not constantly populating the social network stratosphere with my inane ramblings. Or perhaps I'm just too lazy to update my status every hour.

I'll troll Facebook—most often in sheer incredulity at the amount of petrified horse-manure that's shoveled onto it.

When Facebook was first a part of my life in 2007, everything seemed new—I was reconnecting with people that I never thought I'd hear from again—it was all very romantic and pleasant. Now it's just rigid boredom.

Making matters worse, I have several accounts—one for work, one for the magazine I edit, one for my band, one for myself as a solo musician... and I have let each one of them slide off into near obscurity.

I'm no luddite. I still think social networks have an important place in today's world. But I can't bring myself to populate my status feed with all the piddling minutiae that make up my daily existence.

I'm the type of user the Facebook is wary of—I used it to reconnect with some old friends, posted a few choice moments, and have now moved into a floating state of social retirement.

I can't help thinking that there's a good reason why certain people drift apart, evidenced clearly by some of the people I have since indignantly "de-friended" through my abhorrence at their banality. According to Facebook, I have over a hundred friends. In reality, I have very few. I have even fewer close friends.

So what does it all mean? Why do I feel obligated to explain myself on a public forum as to my frequent absence from this multitudinous ether? Perhaps validation.

Reality: I don't care about your weekend, the weather, what you just ate... if you are thinking of posting something that you yourself would not be interested in reading, don't share it. Sifting through Facebook's news feed these days is worse than watching television; I feel stupider for it. I just recently got rid of cable because I never watched it.

So why am I holding on to my Facebook profiles?

I think deep down, my acknowledgement of the importance of the medium still keeps me engaged. I still use Facebook as a means to stay up on what my family is doing. Not having cable, it's also a method to keep up with what is happening in the world. Facebook reports news far earlier than television does. It also provides different angles on breaking stories, based on what your network decides to repost. For these reasons, I will not delete my account.

But I will not pretend to be enthralled by the countless users who post ridiculous platitudes every few minutes. Nor will I hide my distain at those "friends" who insist on posting cryptic obscurities like "One more time, and that's it", or "This happens now?! Really?!" in an attempt to rouse response.

People do not care. Yes, I'm speaking for you. If you feel the urge to post something, try to make it evocative, thought-provoking... at least try to be interesting. I'm embarrassed that I have so many dull acquaintances.

Some of the greatest periods in human history (upheavals in political, musical, poetic or scientific progress) were brought about by catalysts to progressive thought. Great minds feeding other great minds.

Scanning Facebook feeds is the exact opposite. We've become mezmerized by sifting through one another's laundry hampers as opposed to concentrating on the progression of our species. We've stopped putting energy into what makes us "special". The ability to think, emote, create, inspire... where are all of these forces?

My plea to you, my Facebook friends, is to think of at least a post a day that doesn't have anything to do with nothing. Repost a positive news story, share an epiphany (an interesting one), craft an encouraging sentiment. Do anything but post drivel. You know the difference.

Some of you may take offense to this, and lash out with the anticipated defense—or call me the pot, what have you. But at the very least, I hope it will encourage some spirited response from an otherwise dull-eyed gallery of luke-warm souls. Don't worry, I count myself in this mix—for having fallen victim to the same lulling trap over the years. But I want to turn the tide.

And for those who accurately critique my rant and tell me to get off my ass and "show, don't tell", may this blog post serve as my defense.

Happy Networking!


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